Unremembered me

I’ve been forgetting things lately.

Those surround me have been noticing, I surmise, deeming from their attentive follow up of anything that they happened to ask me to do. Nobody has yet to express any distaste or resentment towards my foible, at least not to my knowledge, thankfully.

Not that it matters.

In a way, in a very peculiar way, I find that my forgetfulness to be very settling. Almost serene. It’s more of an ability than a weakness, the ability to forget, the ability of not remembering.

It’s not something that can be learned I suppose. It’s always has been something that couldn’t be achieved by trying, for how many people have been trying to forget things and succeed in doing so?

It has always been one of the two. Either you forget or you remember.

And I am very thankful that everyday, I have things that I forgot to remember.

The arrival

Just a little something from PEMBINA Perlis (^_^)..

Sunset drive

أمسينا وأمسى الملك لله والحمد لله لا شريك له ، لا إله إلا هو وإليه المصير

أمسينا على فطرة الإسلام وكلمة الإخلاص وعلى دين نبينا محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم وعلى ملة أبينا إبراهيم حنيفا وما كان من المشركين

Side note: Photographing while driving is dangerous. Don't do this at home.. or on the road

Tanpa apa-apa

Tahun baru
Tiada kata mampu
Seindah
Rasa yang Kau isi

Buat aku
Yang selalu enggan
Menjadi apa yang mesti

Tanpa aku beri harga
Kau tetap selalu ada

Syukur aku kurang
Salah aku panjang

Aku tiada janji
Tapi aku ingin
Tetap cuba lagi

Back to the start

من اليوم تعارفنا ... ونطوي ما جرى منا
ولا كان ولا صار ... ولا قلتم ولا قلنا
وإن كان ولا بد ... من العتاب فبالحسنى
فقد قيل لنا عنكم ... كما قيل لكم عنا
كفى ما كان من هجر ... فقد ذقتم وقد ذقنا
وما أحسن أن نرجع للوصل كما كنا

Let there be rain

//Rainy days to remember

I loved rainy days.

I loved watching the droplets running across the glass window. The smooth glides, the rhythms, the moisture and lucidness gave a great allusion of how beautiful and simple life should have been.

I loved the sound of the pouring outside of the house. It’s the singing of the earth. It’s the revelation of intrinsically belong to a place. The place that rained on me. The place that welcomed.

I loved the warmth feeling it gave beneath the cold atmosphere. It’s like falling in love. With less dramas and roller coaster ride.

I loved nursing the drinks. Vanilla flavored soy drinks; Sanitarium got it better than Vitasoy.

I loved the chitchat. I loved the serious talks and the jokes. I loved to hear more than I love to speak. I loved having the idea of to spend this quiet time with a wife, someday. I loved the fact that I can share the moment with friends.

I loved being alone without the feeling of loneliness. I loved missing the missing ones.

I loved pondering to the past and wondering what might come in coming days. I loved to thank Allah for the situation that I was living.

I loved to smile to the gloomy cloud as much as how I oftenly did to the great blue sky. Among the signs of great happiness is to smile when nobody’s watching. Among the steps to get closer to Allah is to cry only for Him.

I loved scribbling unfinished poetry. I would start about the droplets or about the cold. The rain was often too swift for me to complete the idea. I loved having the idea of encountering another rainy days.

I loved closing my eyes to it. I loved feeling sleepy through it. I loved waking up to it.

But in my sleep and in my consciousness, now, it still doesn’t rain here.

It’s getting hot, scorching hot and dry with some occurrence of sandstorm. Sighs and sweats are everywhere. It requires extra effort to cool ourselves. Inside and out.

I don’t hate the sun. I’m not cursing the heat. They’re all indeed ni’mah from Allah.

“Dalam segala musim, Tuhan selalu penyayang”

I still love all the things I loved. I love more of them now more than ever.

I’m just waiting for a rainy days.

إِذْ يُغَشِّيكُمُ النُّعَاسَ أَمَنَةً مِّنْهُ وَيُنَزِّلُ عَلَيْكُم مِّن السَّمَاء مَاء لِّيُطَهِّرَكُم بِهِ وَيُذْهِبَ عَنكُمْ رِجْزَ الشَّيْطَانِ وَلِيَرْبِطَ عَلَى قُلُوبِكُمْ وَيُثَبِّتَ بِهِ الأَقْدَامَ

(Ingatlah), ketika Allah menjadikan kamu mengantuk sebagai suatu penentraman daripada-Nya, dan Allah menurunkan kepadamu hujan dari langit untuk menyucikan kamu dengan hujan itu dan menghilangkan dari kamu gangguan-gangguan setan dan untuk menguatkan hatimu dan memperteguh dengannya telapak kaki (mu).
//Al-Anfal: 11

Unspoken

إذا مر يوم ولم أتذكر
به أن أقول صباحك بسكر

فلا تذهلى من سكوتى وصمتى
ولا تحسبى أن شيئا تغير

فحين أنا لا أقول أحب
فمعناه أنى أحبك أكثر

Iza marra yaumun walam atazakkar
Bihi an aqul sobahuka/ki bisukkar
Fala tazhal/i min sukuti wasomti
Wala tahsab/i anna shai’an taghayyar
Fahina ana la aqul uhibbu
Famaknahu anni uhibbuka/ki aksar

*The orange part signifies the muannas (feminine) of it

(When a day passed by while I didn’t remember
By it, to wish you a morning of sugar (sweetness)
Thus, don’t be confounded by my hush and silence
And don’t think that anything have changed
For at time when I don’t utter love
It pertains that, truly, I love you so much more)

My teacher was singing this poem before starting the class and I, as how usually was I didn’t really being attentive to his singing, continue browsing up pages that we were supposed to be covering that day not until he reached the last stanzas; where I actually could clutch its meaning right away, lifted up my face and looked up to him – and if there’s one thing that I am authentically amazed with the Egyptians it would be their ability to look you right in the eye and comprehend what your eyes are saying. Smugly, he repeated the poem and even wrote it on the board even before I was thinking of asking it.

I did however ask him of what the poem is all about and from where it was originated. As his elucidation was overly protracted – unlike his usual syllabus exposition – I was lost somewhere in the middle of it. I did however get the idea that it was engendered by a Malay friend of him (surprise, surprise) and it was meant as a love message to his mother – if I did get the explanation right; which I honestly doubtful of as much as how I doubted that the profoundly poem was created by a non-Arab.

I did sms-ed the poem to my mother although I knew she wouldn’t actually get the whole meaning of it even that she has my father to translate it for her. As much to my expectation, she didn’t quite consume the whole meaning of it but all that she did understand was that I truly deeply love her – and that’s exactly the message that I was trying to pass through ;)

I don’t want to explain much about the meaning of the poem or share what I feel and understand from it because I prefer that you, my dear readers, get to explore the whole idea of it by your own experience or imagination yourselves, because I believe that your side of stories would be no less interesting than mine.

Kerana kejelitaan adalah hak milik setiap insan…Ngeh3